Inside Outdoors

Lake Monroe Creature For IU Mascot?

By Don Jordan

Is it just a coincidence that the Lake Monroe mini-bigfoot/bear has emerged, has revealed its illusive self just at Indiana University earnestly seeks a new mascot so our school can get on ESPN commercial promotions? I think not.

In my search to answer this question, which started as two separate projects, the two events merged. To me, and to one other respondent in my surveys last week, the critter reported south of Lake Monroe seemed to be a good answer.

My search for mini-bigfoot information led me to the Indiana Unversity anthroplogy department. Dr. Robert Meier is a retired professor of physical anthropology and one of my mentors. Meier has investigated finger and foot prints sent to him by bigfoot hunters. Dr. Paul Jamison is also a physical anthropology professor. He taught a course at IU called "Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch: An Anthropological Perspective." Both are outdoorsmen.

"I think it would be pretty tough (on a bigfoot). He would get awful lonely. Of course, within the last two years, they were sighting what they were calling a bigfoot just across the Lake Monroe causeway. Maybe this is the same thing, and it just moved," said Jamison. Does Jamison think it’s a bigfoot? He says "it either is or it isn’t."

"I haven’t talked to anybody about it, and I honestly don’t know, but, doesn’t a sun bear have some white on it?" said Meier who had read the newspaper accounts and seemed doubtful of the bigfoot hypothesis. A sun bear is a small Asian bear, but I couldn’t find anyone who knew if sun bears only have four toes (the creature’s footprints showed four).

Somewhere along the line, I started asking if, maybe, the Lake Monroe creature might make the perfect mascot for IU.

*Mary Kay Rothert, outdoorswoman and IU English Dept.: "I don’t’ think a mascot is possible for IU. There is nothing that is a physical object in our tradition. I don’t think you can make a symbol for Indiana University. The Lake Monroe Creature? Sure, why not?" said Mary Kay Rothert who works at the IU English Dept. "The Fighing Frangiapani isn’t bad either."

*Dr. Paul Jamison: "I thought it should be the mole, because they have good hands, are persistent, aggressive, they make good tunnels and mountains. My wife, Cher, said yes, but IU has no engineering school. She convinced me it ought to be the bison. A live one that could run out onto the field.

*Dennis Knoy, electrician and outdoorsman: "Indiana being the land of the indians, an indian name might be good…." Dennis isn’t always up on the latest news, so I told him that Native American names are no longer politically correct. "You mean we can’t do that? Oh, well, the bison wouldn’t be too bad, fairly appropriate. But, actually, I haven’t missed not having one (an IU mascot), have you?

*Dr. Robin Roberts, IU grad and world’s best dentist: "A Wild Eyed Radical from the any of the social sciences departments at IU. Costume? It should be wearing jeans, knees busted out, a hair shirt, thick glasses, and a lot of hair. The Lake Monroe Creature would be close to the Wild Eyed Radical in appearance. Let’s call him Radz."

Bobby Sturgis, ace auto mechanic and fan: "It’s really hard to come up with something since we haven’t had one for so long. I didn’t really miss it to tell the truth."

*Tony Abrell, gas man and IU fan, Worthington: "I’d name it The Fightin’ Bluegill. The Fightin’ Bob White too. Either one."

*Cash Currant, IU grad and windows mogul: "I think we should bring out Herman B (no period) Wells. We could just have the mascot be the missing period. The gramatically incorrect mascot." Every good journalism student at IU formerly knew that the beloved chancellor insisted on no period after his middle initial. We could call the mascot "Herman."

*Tom Zeller, IU computing ace: "I vote for no mascot. I was good enough for my grandpa, damnit."

*Dr. Robert Meier: "How about a corporate mascot, one that brings in some money? Two with local ties come to mind, Lilly and Cook. If it were Cook, the mascot could be the Indiana Catheter. If it were Lilly, it could be the Hoosier Pill. Some cheers or slogans come to mind: Catheters would ‘keep your heart pumping’ and the pills would ‘give opponents their medicine.’" A pill costume is obvious, a huge Prozac tablet, but for the catheter? "It would have to be a really tall, really thin person."

Meier’s suggestion has weight to it, I think. I fits right in with the corporate trend in American sports. Perhaps one of them could buy the stadium name and the other the mascot. Lilly Stadium. The IU Catheter. Cook Hall? The Lilly Cup?

If those companies aren’t interested, a "Brand" name would certainly be appropriate at IU these days. Of course, then the university would be "branded" with a skunk as the new mascot. We could call it "Stinky."

You can email Don Jordan by clicking the email link at http://realindy.com